uuhg

Now I ask you ...has boredom actually killed anyone yet? ... cuz I may be it's first victim ... I can't believe I'm saying this but i think I may actually want a job just to stop the boredom ... my only problem is I really don't want a job that involves talking to people ... I was thinking of taking some classes ... that would occupy me .... Maybe i'll check out the college "Continuing education thing" meh Let us seeee.... I could learn a new language ... Japanese :D $205 yikes ... maybe there's a cheaper language Dutch is only $141 ... I don't know ... 

So far so bored

Well ... it hasn't been BAD per-say just ... boring really ... I mean I'm sure I could ask my dad to take me somewhere but I don't know where to go... I don't know what to do .... should I ask him to take me to the mall ... but how boring .... uugh I don't know

Home at last

I have made it! I'm in Oshawa ... Ahhhhh ... Ya know I don't understand why people think i'm so ... I don't know ... weak? why they think I need a bunch of stuff to make me happy. Maybe it's just my depression but Idon't NEED half the stuff people think I do ... yeah I enjoy the internet and TV and Movies ... but If I lost all that I'm sure i'd be fine. I mean locked in a room with nothing to do is one thing but if I had no cable and no internet connection... so ... I still have my books and my movies I'm fine with that ... fuck

THURSDAY!!!!

I'm getting the fuck out of here on Thursday!!!! Thursday can you stand it??? not me :D :D :D Can't fuckin wait! Two more sleeps as my nieces would say lol and then I'm Out! Ahhhh can't wait! I still have to finish Packing but that's a sinch All I have to do is pack what's under the sink ... And I have to clean out that fish tank ... hmmm should I keep that??? I could always get fish down the line ... yeah I think i'll keep it

A week and a half to go

Moovin' on up to the east side ... of Torontoish area ... :P Almost there I'm kinda excited ... well not so much excited to go to Oshawa as I am excited to get the fuck out of here! I have not been feeling very well lately chronic sore throat ... may have to get my tonsil out just for good measure. I've totally stopped caring about alot of stuff and I don't care for it. I'm completely losing interest in the Internet I just don't find it fun anymore. Facebook in particular. Just hours of my life being wasted in front of this damn laptop. Maybe I should ... I don't know ... start reading again I have a bunch of books that I haven't finished that I want too.

Well the best part of Oshawa will be exploring the new surroundings that will be fun. I will also have Toronto to check out too since it's so close.

It's 4:30AM I have to go to sleep

Almost there!!

Well I'm moving to Oshawa with my Dad ... Pro's Not living here, no kids, not in Elmira, $8 to get to Toronto, Dad's not there very often, no more bitching from my sister, just better ... Con's I have to live with my dad, couch city again since it's a 1 bdrm apt, no room for my stuff, Don't know anyone there.

Oh well it'll be an adventure... I wish I could stop fucking up my life already.

So .... some news

Well I got on Social assistance which is good ... the 375 limit for rent sucks ass ... I get it you don't want people being able to survive on SA so you make them get a job ... gotcha .... not exactly my situation. I just need help till my ODSP comes in .... fuck this means I am being forced to ... move in with my father christ. Why do you do this to me god? why? Ok so I don't exactly believe in you ... but gimmie a fuckin break!

fuckin fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck! We are not ammused!

Craaaap

Turns out I might not get anything from ODSP for like four months this is no good ... I'm going to have to see if I can rent a room for a few months till it comes in ... this may not go over well.

\

Well So Far So Go...

I got an email from my favourite Aunt telling me everything is fine with the forms and that my Doctor would fill them out no prob (yeah cuz he's getting $100 for it)

Ahhhhhhh!

Big weight get off my chest! Thank you!. Now I just have to wait ... and wait. The lady at the ODSP office said it would take a couple months but i get a retro check from when they get my forms so (when i'm approved) I'll be getting a big fat first check. Now I have to do this right. I can't fuck this one up. I have to prioritize and budget my money have a savings and a checking account (Which I do) and then have a mad money jar. For things i want. Food shouldn't be an issue I have all those recipes so I can make a bunch ahead of time and then save money in the long run (since going out isn't an issue) ... If i had a $ amount it would be easier to start planning now then when the money comes but i should be able to do somethings now.

I need to make a list of what i need (knowing what I have would help) I need forsure, a phone, a bed, bedding for that bed, a dresser and some kind of entertainment system. The bedding I can get from work. The entertainment system .... there is one at work but it's really cheap and I'm not sure it's worth it. I may have to just go out and get another one. Maybe Walmart has one it'll be more expencive but it'll be better then the crap at my work.

My apartment ... I need one ... next weeks paycheck is not going to be good... Maybe 200 minus the 50 for J that'll make 1350 ideally i need 1500 and i'd have that if i wasn't such a fucktard with my money. this is going to be even worse since I get my money every MONTH ... I have a hard enought time with getting money every two weeks and not spending it all (which i do sometimes)

Well Going to look for an apartment and look up cheap recipies

Chocolate Chip Cookies and Kung Fu

As retail therapy I bought 4 kung fu movies ... i like! I shall watch them now while I eat my chocolate chip cookies and drink my Pepsi ... my god i am such a healthy person aren't I?

Things were starting to roll ....

Now they seem to be going backwards ... turns out I have to be present when my forms are being filled out ... Fuuuuck! Maybe I can do what I was originally going to do and have my Dr. photo copy my medical files and then get a walk in doctor to fill them out. uugh... Did I email Aunt D about this .... hmm I'm not sure. Maybe I can have him photo copy my medical reports and write up a note to the walk in Dr. that will be filling it out .... hmm

Just watched the last episode of Dexter. I can't wait for the next season to start. I love that show. The fact that it makes me hungry should be a concern lol. Oh well it gives me my murder fix without hurting anyone :P Not that i could ever kill someone .... Thought about it but honestly i am not that bright and I shed like a .. dog that sheds .. a lot. I'd be caught in an instant :P

Well off to LaLa land

So It Has Come To This

OK so in my last post I was talking about applying for disability. Well I did it. Just waiting for my mother to give it to my aunt who will give it to my old doctor back in NF. After he mails it away it should take a couple months to go through ... I may have to bight the bullet and ask my dad for some help... this should go over well. All I need is some money to hold me over till I can get my disability. The only problem is if i don't then I'm screwed SCREWED Big time! uuugh. Have yet to tell A and J about this plan ... I do not think they would approve of this plan ... Then again what ever gets me out of this house I'm sure they wouldn't care.

I hope what they give me is liveable ... I'm sure I could think of a budget plan. Maybe make up a recipe list and only have those to eat and then save for special nights ... maybe even have one night a month? hmm once every two weeks? where I go out for say sushi? save 20 bucks and go to Ye's I'm sure that would be do able. Although the lady at the ODSP office said I'd get money on the last day of the month for that month .... how the fuck does that work? I guess i just have to think of it as getting money the day before the first of the month. I need to ask B about that.

Well I guess I don't need to worry about that till it comes in. I hope this works or it's a one way trip to the loony bin for me. Fun times at my house!!

Time for True Blood and some pot :D

Flying High

It is the brother-in-laws birthday today ... After work I came home and babysat the kids while they go out to see a movie and have a steak dinner. Still in the basement ... going to see if I can get on disability I have to get out of this rut ... and my god that chocolate chip cookie I just finished was so good!! ... anyway this rut  I am fucking up my life ... who's going to want to be my boyfriend? I am a Looooser!!! I want to cry This is how crack whore start out isn't it?? ... I DON'T WANNA BE A CRACK WHORE!!

Honestly

I really wish I could just take off. Take the money I've saved and just take a plane somewhere ... anywhere. I can't wait to get out of here. On my own in my own place ... no more freakin kids, or crazy in-laws ... just me and my cat. I am so tired of sleeping on a couch, being woken up at 7am, no more Go Diego Go!!. I can invite men over :)  woohoo! ... drink in the middle of the day. Smoke weed in broad daylight in my home. Eat real food.



I don't have enough money to move ... well i do as long as I don't plan on eating or paying my next months rent. I need another job maybe I'll appy to Short stop ... they seem to need people alot.

I'd say in about 2 months :S if I can get another job in the next couple weeks I should be able to get the hell out of dodge.

One of Many

Well I gave in and started a blog ... I knew it was only time. :P Oh well this saves money and trees ... no more journals woohoo.

Just finished a couple Asian Dramas ... The Seventh Day ... I still don't understand that title I think it has something to do with god *rolls eyes* whatever it was good ... made me cry (of course) I think I've cried watching every one so far ... even the damn comedies!

What is with me and the AD's... any free minute I'm watching them on my laptop. I don't see the difference if I'm watching TV all day long or AD's it's TV on my laptop .... oooh but it's smaller poor quality (only occasionally) and only suitable for one person to watch at a time .. meh who cares. Although I wish I could either learn Cantonese, Korean, Japanese, or Thai so I didn't need to have to read the subs all the time or find ones that are dubbed

Fuck I want to move to ... well anywhere in the east ... I'm not picky.

Well I guess that's all for now.